Truth behind being paired.

Well it indeed has been a while I posted anything online on my personal issues, and truth is I've had quite a bit of balls to juggle, tea cups to balance on my tray or what ever analogy is appropriate. I've come to share a new meaning and a realization I've had over reaching 25 (pseudo quarter life crisis) and well I've come to share this with you.

Firstly, being in a relationship is harder than the whole mystery of pick up and all that initiation phase. There comes a point in time in a relationship where each of you are just dragging along and trying to pull through together. The only thing keeping you from breaking apart is the love, memories and all that you've done for each other. But its important enough for you then its what matters at the end of the day.

Yes, I know you post-modern lovers are sitting there thinking why must one "pull through" a relationship when we have that option of moving on if the spark is gone. Well, I'm an old fashioned thinker that likes to follow the intrinsic values. Relationship and love, is not among those things that can be disposed like a bulb, or a job or anything else. One needs to rebuild the spark and continue to throw in effort for the partner. It's the same as penguins, that find a mate and if lost they lose interest in finding anyone else. Thus, similarly once you find that love and decide him/her to be the one its important to continue to stick to that decision and not hump around letting the instincts control you.

I am not here to share that with you essentially, I've come to realize the power of growing up and the world we live in. Being single is like a free soul, yet however being in a relationship brings in privilege as well as responsibility. We all know the rule of Survival of the Fittest, thus when in a relationship it makes sense that your mate could be earned away from you by a more capable entity. This is assuming the case that the pairs aren't married yet.

An old fashioned man hides his emotions in a box within him and faces the world as black and white. It's important to cage that child within us men so were not distracted during work by play. It's also important for us men to discipline ourselves into remaining focused even in scenarios we know our wife maybe home screwing another man. We chose this position, we have to stay firm and continue to work for it is to be done. It is also for us traditional men to understand our place as bread earners and continue to full fill our duty as it is work, and work is to be done.

There's more to what meets the eye, and that is to be uncovered by ones perception and theory and philosophy. What we do is what is to be done, and essentially the part of growing up into adults with responsibilities.Thus to all old fashioned men out there, here's a bit of Latin for you. Virile Agitur! (do manly thing)

There's more coming this way soon, but for now I just vented out some of my emotions and leave you all with a thought to ponder on.

If life is not black and white, and black and white are shades of grey. Thus,  life is grey?

TaQur.

Exam Essays

So it's been a long struggling road for me to write a simple essay in an exam scenario. In fact its safe to say I still have trouble writing a proper essay answer and lose out on most of my marks, So I've reached my boiling point and decided to do some homework on what is required by the person reading the paper and why is this a constant failure.
So what it really comes down to is my main weaknesses and how they add limitations to the essay in the exam paper. Yes, I'm not a walking talking encyclopedia to remember dates, names and places so I cant produce evidence to give support, and I prefer to conclude the essay before it even starts. It's better to elaborate on the pointers and learn to get things in a proper format to gain all these marks. I also prefer to spend the least amount of time in the exam paper and "get it over and done with".
Now this is what I've found out, as a requirement of a good essay paper writing.

1. Answer the Question.

This is the first and most important suggestion. Answering the wrong question is a common mistake made by students. Unfortunately, it can be a real disaster for the grade you get in an exam. Make sure you understand what the examiner wants; it is highly advisable to refer back to the question throughout the answer. This point may sound like stating the obvious; but, in my experience, answering the wrong question is the biggest cause of a disappointing exam result.

2. Good Introduction.

In an introduction to an essay you should offer a short, concise summary of the main points to be raised. If appropriate, you could clarify key concepts. Introductions go wrong when students go into too much detail, and then repeat their arguments in the main body of the text. Generally speaking, it is advisable to start off with short sentences, rather than complex sentences. This will help create a clarity of thought and purpose.

3. Essay Plan.

A plan can help to gather your thoughts, and make sure you do not forget to mention key arguments. It is an opportunity to brainstorm what you know about the topic. However, it is important not to get into too much detail – writing keywords and phrases are the best solution. I would suggest spending 5 -10 % of your allotted time on creating an introduction.

4. 3 Steps of an argument.

• The first step is the basic statement and argument; this part tests your knowledge.
• The second step is to explain your statement. Don’t forget you need to explain in relation to the question. Also, just because you think the explanation is obvious, doesn’t mean you can avoid putting it down.
• The third step is to look at the argument with critical distance. This is an opportunity to discuss why the basic premise may be wrong or limited. It is an opportunity to show you can think for yourself, rather than just memorise a list of points. This final step, called analysis or evaluation, is the most difficult part, but is required to get the highest mark.

I write this with Economics in mind, but, I’m sure it is relevant to others subjects as well.

5. Conclusion.

In a conclusion you can weigh up the different arguments and decide which are the strongest and most relevant. A conclusion should try to add something new, and not just repeat previous points. For example, you can say why an argument is particularly strong and give justification.

6. How Much To Write?

I often get asked this question by students. So many students will write 1 side and then stop, almost in mid sentence, because they think this means they have finished. There is no right answer as to how much you should write. The important thing is to write as much as you can in the allotted time, but, only write what is relevant. Although it is true quality is more important than quantity, don’t try to do a minimalist style and write as little as possible. Generally speaking, if you write more you have a better chance of getting more points across.

7. Did you answer the Question?

Hopefully you didn’t leave it to the end of your answer to realise you answered the wrong question.

I thankfully got these from an source of LSBF, and would hopefully try to attain more higher marks.

Adios for now, and I'll come back with updates and feedback about this new strategy of writing Exam essays in this format.

A broken smile

I felt my ears ring a little as I felt it cracked against the back of my head. My eyes disillusioned as I look at the dark world, tear-eyed. My head weak as I recognized the taste of my own blood. I didn't know I long I'd been here, neither did it matter. The sting of the whips against my back, raw fleshed now was all that I sensed. I hung there, nude and humiliated drenched in my own blood, sweat and spit. I hung there embracing the humility and mercy of the devil herself.
No, I'm not blasphemous, when the devil showed herself in that outfit. She never compromised on looks, the mere sight of her. The chill races through the spine,  to the back of the mind and one could only beg for just a touch of this lustful creature. Her wings wide, shadowing herself to let the light embrace all the contours leaving little to imagination. She stood there dark, devious lips and a whip-tail to keep hands off her back. Her walk, echoes of her heel and the slither of her body. She was the worlds most dangerous temptation..and man's humiliation tool...like a flag to be conquered.
She circles me a few times, asking "well?" her tail caressing flirtatiously as she knows the answer already but smiles at the sensation of humiliating another hopeless man. Unable to breathe, surprised by her sudden sting on my shoulder my body presents blood. I stand dumbfounded, the splatter of my blood stains her skin 'Yes, this is the blood of broken man' and I get sent away to the dungeon where I am to remain. To fill my eyes with lust, it's painful to almost reach the climax every time. I sit there thinking, about my story. To start a new story just to return heartbroken. To be the lowest entity of some ego, barely to survive.
I lay there, hard concrete gravel sinking into my Back. I sit watching the moon I once watched as a romantic thane, now as a self prophesied charmer.The bitter taste of blood still on my tongue.
I'm the result of broken promises, the voice of suicide. A soul that's stuck between reality and illusion.
I am... A broken smile.

What goes around...Comes around.

Hello all, been a while since I posted anything really. basically there too many variable that ate my time away. Anyway, heres a somewhat food for thought, the paradox of this rule "what goes around comes around". It's odd, awkward and brutally true.
It's real enough to just sit here this morning, feeling the sensation of this pain that is running through my skin. My head's screaming the words "rejection. denial, alone, unworthy, lost", while my heart is pretty much screaming the same thing. It's weird because not too long ago i was consoling a friend of mine about being lonely. the chain of events are ironically as if the table turned an exact 180 degrees. The sensation I helped them maneuver, is whats thrown right back at me. The cherry on top is just the phrase running through my head "destined to be alone". It's not the first time i felt this way, just 6 years ago...i was on the same road, sick and tired of living it by myself. My make-shift dates, lovers, friends and foes. This all leads to nothing but self pity? Very true...but its better than living through pain over and over again just to show how much one is in need of love.
The loop had to end somewhere, even if it makes me loose the personality completely. The breaking of this loop, is indeed the breaking of the person's esteem, morals, joys and everything within.
So i pretty much sit there, somewhere away i can be left alone for a while. I sit there watching the person i love mingle with the crowd, happy and living the life one did at some point in life.
It's not jealousy but rather bitterness towards where life's brought me back to square one. I had the pleasure of loving two people, and now I'm sitting here facing the consequences of a double breakup. All the pain and anger within those two people somehow channelized through a medium, and hit me right back down.
A soldier however, always gets up from his fall.
This soldier wounded on the heart...
This soldier, is probably destined to fight alone...

The Time Trap

Stuck in the trap of time.

I live seeing the things i've always wanted to do. I tried it all, but faced nothing but rejection. It's part of who I am. it's enlightened every time I feel the sensations of what I want. The realms of love and romance, the denial of getting either.
I left one for the other but as the saying goes, ' one in the hand is better than 2 in the bush' . The bush where others find them all..
it reminds me of being a candidate, nothing more. A customer of love, that is bestowed upon the richer, stronger, famous and more superior.
I'm reminded of being just an inferior being.
The rules of respecting the superior beings. Ironic its called robbery if it's taken without mutual consent, but victory if taken from an inferior. the rules don't apply to the ones that made it..
Then the song plays in my head "where did I go wrong, I lost a friend".
Known as the happy pervert in the group people I call friends, but then they face the isolated part, and ask if I'm alright. The sweet things 'friends' do, but I'm at a point of no return.
A journey through rough tides and winds. Add in a little lightning to break vision. Ignoring the rashes in my grip, I grasp tighter battling my way to keep balance. I embrace the ruthless rage of mother nature as she unleashes her anger from the self prophesied egoistic beings. A tide flips this raft I cling onto, and I feel water invade my lungs, irritating the system of my body. I cry, but the tears are lost in the wild salty water that's been stinging my eyes.
Accepting death, defeat and living denial is a railway line I'm tied to. A train in the distant humming, shaking of gravel to convince its very existence. I close my eyes thinking of the last time I held the girl I loved. The sweet smell of her lips, and the curls of her hair I brushed behind her ear. Tucked in the comfort of my blanket, kissed by the morning light of the sun. It seemed like heaven, or more like self made heaven that would bring timeless paradigm into play. Now the shaking is stronger, the sound of gravel getting more dense.
Sitting at this point in time, I look up at the raven I loved through time, seeing it pair with another being. Accepting all the things I was denied. I sit wondering how life became so predictable, and the choices that lead me to this consequence.
I smile bidding my life and lovers good bye, to a new paradigm and a new place of sufferings. I bid goodbye to the promised and the ones I wished to have some time with. Denied of all. I fought for none. I sit waiting for the train running over my corpse, the tides swallowing me in vain of rage and vengeance.
This is indeed the trap of time I'm stuck in.

The begining of a perfect affair...

 Enjoy reading another chaotic theory of perception. It explains the realms of an affair based on interest and sparks. Perhaps even more aspects we haven't taken into account, thus this is just one of the perceptions of a situation we all would face at some point in our life. 

And so the situation undergoes...

So your partner, a friend (opposite gender to your partner) and yourself are sitting at a table for three.

The friend is pulling your leg, throwing in some fun lines you tend to think are directed at you. Mainly in context to your common gay humor. Your partner responds to it, acting all safe and you're nothing but the medium they talk to having their fun. You believe they're all involved in enjoying your jokes but in reality whats happening? You don't exist your just a medium their talking to each other through. The friend shows a new pic of him/herself that contains some degree of intrigue and attractiveness. You, out of good will involve your partner in the joke, showing them the pic too. They're clearly intrigued saying "wow who's that?" and you point saying its your friend's friend and they say, not him the other guy in the background. The friend smiles saying its his/her trainer! The next statement you hear is wow, he sure is attractive with a good compliment.

Now while in reality what could be happening is you're partner commenting on the friends pic with interest, but camouflaging it with the guy that called the friend's friend. The message is delivered and the subliminal flirting perhaps has gone to a complete new level.


Your sent to get your partner's favorite drink, while your there getting it, your friend plays a prank driving off.

Clearly a sign of a joke! However, that may not always be the case. What it could mean is, 'forget this fella and let's get together just you and I.'

You enter the car, and you're laughing along. Oblivious to the fact that there's flirting and moments alone between your friend and your partner.


Another fine case would be, coming in late for the arrival, to help give you and your partner a ride

but being a polite person showing all the good traits and developing interest and throwing in subliminal jokes in the conversation, while you believe your talking to your friend, in effect the friend is talking to your partner throwing in compliments and a mere message of "this person wont get what I'm talking about, what about you play along with me darling?"

While your in the conversation they fake laugh at anything you say to make you believe that you have a good sense of humor only to keep the conversation with your partner coming along.
 whats ironic, after the entire event, you and your friend drop your partner to their place on the way back and you strike a conversation and they say, they're a nice person, but not the marriage kind for you. There would be too many issues between you both in the future. They call it an (honest friends advice) further more, reinforcing it, saying they would say the same to your partner. It's only to pave their way in, and steal there partner to show superiority and mastering of their skills to get what ever they want.

The partner too plays along, because they feel thrilled to find someone with such clear subliminal messages, to enjoy a flirt session with. While flirting with you, or showing they don't like to be flirted with, just giving the cue to your friend that 'its all a game'.

This, fellow readers is a great start to a happy, life long affair. But the question arises how far would this ditch go? The role of the main character has to have the attributes of a rather open minded, self less and devoted lover. The person should be able to contain the possessive behavior towards their partner, Be very easy going regarding their partners friends circle and who all they communicate with. Furthermore, the love devotion should be so selfless, that the aspect of expecting anything in return should be almost completely negligible. The last but not the least aspect would be the inner curiosity to investigate the depth of this 'rabbit hole'.

Conscious (that annoying voice inside ur head)

It's actually quite hillarious how most of us let our conscious have the better of us believing to play safe and agreeing to what ever it says. Well, let me enlighten u to tell u that when ur layn in ur crib (grave) ur conscious would be to be blamed while ur sitting there thinkin....

"DAYMMMM, I WISH I HAD A CHANCE"

God's up there sayn...uve had ur chance mate...now lets get down to buisness...and so forth

SO...what ppl nowdayz do, they stuff their boots down teh neck of their conscious and go with their minds or hearts. Some succeed some dont, but the fact is they tried it all. They have nothing to regret since they tried.

BUT....

Theres a fine line between Conscious and Desire...incase u didnt catch the motive. I guess ill have to elaborate on what i mean there....

Case#1 :- You see a gorgeous woman walk past the road and take ur chance to get her number...and advance with her...u end up having a good conversation with her and u get to invite her for a cup a coffee...later that day u decide to set up a date with her..things seam perfect....the date blows up since u have to do some over time and hence ur entire infatuation for her goes down the drain...

this mate, is called Conscious...since u use ur head and ur conscious to sense the mood and play the right words at teh right time...for the right cause ofcourse...

Case#2 :- You get drunk at the bar and find a pretty girl dancing next to u...u offer her more drink so she looses her senses and take her forcefuly to ur hotel where u go on with ur buisness and the next morning shes kicked out...

That...is pure Desire...where ur day is wasted according to ur mind..and she is nothing but a doormat u just used..

Thats what the world apparently nowdayz has trouble defining. Classify it as what u will. Thats one of the reason why there too many risk takers in this world. And another reason why most guys think their Casanova and ladies think theyre simply irresistable.
FOR GOD''S SAKE WAKE UP!!! theres more to life than fullfilling ur worldly desires. And for once look back at the person who's alwayz the last in the race and go second so he thinks hes achieved sumthing in life...

think about it....how much does it take to go second instead of first place so the last man running the race could feel they have a better place and have a chance to improve...uve got ur trophie already...what bout the others? leave em to rot in this hell whole?

My point being....Conscious is what ur MIND, HEART and LOGIC agrees on, and Desire is what ur HEART wants alone....where u feel a slave of the dream. and u work like a machine to get it or steal it....

So next time u see sumone HOT walk past u...think bout whats ur CONSCIOUS says...not what ur DESIRE screams...