The begining of a perfect affair...

 Enjoy reading another chaotic theory of perception. It explains the realms of an affair based on interest and sparks. Perhaps even more aspects we haven't taken into account, thus this is just one of the perceptions of a situation we all would face at some point in our life. 

And so the situation undergoes...

So your partner, a friend (opposite gender to your partner) and yourself are sitting at a table for three.

The friend is pulling your leg, throwing in some fun lines you tend to think are directed at you. Mainly in context to your common gay humor. Your partner responds to it, acting all safe and you're nothing but the medium they talk to having their fun. You believe they're all involved in enjoying your jokes but in reality whats happening? You don't exist your just a medium their talking to each other through. The friend shows a new pic of him/herself that contains some degree of intrigue and attractiveness. You, out of good will involve your partner in the joke, showing them the pic too. They're clearly intrigued saying "wow who's that?" and you point saying its your friend's friend and they say, not him the other guy in the background. The friend smiles saying its his/her trainer! The next statement you hear is wow, he sure is attractive with a good compliment.

Now while in reality what could be happening is you're partner commenting on the friends pic with interest, but camouflaging it with the guy that called the friend's friend. The message is delivered and the subliminal flirting perhaps has gone to a complete new level.


Your sent to get your partner's favorite drink, while your there getting it, your friend plays a prank driving off.

Clearly a sign of a joke! However, that may not always be the case. What it could mean is, 'forget this fella and let's get together just you and I.'

You enter the car, and you're laughing along. Oblivious to the fact that there's flirting and moments alone between your friend and your partner.


Another fine case would be, coming in late for the arrival, to help give you and your partner a ride

but being a polite person showing all the good traits and developing interest and throwing in subliminal jokes in the conversation, while you believe your talking to your friend, in effect the friend is talking to your partner throwing in compliments and a mere message of "this person wont get what I'm talking about, what about you play along with me darling?"

While your in the conversation they fake laugh at anything you say to make you believe that you have a good sense of humor only to keep the conversation with your partner coming along.
 whats ironic, after the entire event, you and your friend drop your partner to their place on the way back and you strike a conversation and they say, they're a nice person, but not the marriage kind for you. There would be too many issues between you both in the future. They call it an (honest friends advice) further more, reinforcing it, saying they would say the same to your partner. It's only to pave their way in, and steal there partner to show superiority and mastering of their skills to get what ever they want.

The partner too plays along, because they feel thrilled to find someone with such clear subliminal messages, to enjoy a flirt session with. While flirting with you, or showing they don't like to be flirted with, just giving the cue to your friend that 'its all a game'.

This, fellow readers is a great start to a happy, life long affair. But the question arises how far would this ditch go? The role of the main character has to have the attributes of a rather open minded, self less and devoted lover. The person should be able to contain the possessive behavior towards their partner, Be very easy going regarding their partners friends circle and who all they communicate with. Furthermore, the love devotion should be so selfless, that the aspect of expecting anything in return should be almost completely negligible. The last but not the least aspect would be the inner curiosity to investigate the depth of this 'rabbit hole'.

Conscious (that annoying voice inside ur head)

It's actually quite hillarious how most of us let our conscious have the better of us believing to play safe and agreeing to what ever it says. Well, let me enlighten u to tell u that when ur layn in ur crib (grave) ur conscious would be to be blamed while ur sitting there thinkin....

"DAYMMMM, I WISH I HAD A CHANCE"

God's up there sayn...uve had ur chance mate...now lets get down to buisness...and so forth

SO...what ppl nowdayz do, they stuff their boots down teh neck of their conscious and go with their minds or hearts. Some succeed some dont, but the fact is they tried it all. They have nothing to regret since they tried.

BUT....

Theres a fine line between Conscious and Desire...incase u didnt catch the motive. I guess ill have to elaborate on what i mean there....

Case#1 :- You see a gorgeous woman walk past the road and take ur chance to get her number...and advance with her...u end up having a good conversation with her and u get to invite her for a cup a coffee...later that day u decide to set up a date with her..things seam perfect....the date blows up since u have to do some over time and hence ur entire infatuation for her goes down the drain...

this mate, is called Conscious...since u use ur head and ur conscious to sense the mood and play the right words at teh right time...for the right cause ofcourse...

Case#2 :- You get drunk at the bar and find a pretty girl dancing next to u...u offer her more drink so she looses her senses and take her forcefuly to ur hotel where u go on with ur buisness and the next morning shes kicked out...

That...is pure Desire...where ur day is wasted according to ur mind..and she is nothing but a doormat u just used..

Thats what the world apparently nowdayz has trouble defining. Classify it as what u will. Thats one of the reason why there too many risk takers in this world. And another reason why most guys think their Casanova and ladies think theyre simply irresistable.
FOR GOD''S SAKE WAKE UP!!! theres more to life than fullfilling ur worldly desires. And for once look back at the person who's alwayz the last in the race and go second so he thinks hes achieved sumthing in life...

think about it....how much does it take to go second instead of first place so the last man running the race could feel they have a better place and have a chance to improve...uve got ur trophie already...what bout the others? leave em to rot in this hell whole?

My point being....Conscious is what ur MIND, HEART and LOGIC agrees on, and Desire is what ur HEART wants alone....where u feel a slave of the dream. and u work like a machine to get it or steal it....

So next time u see sumone HOT walk past u...think bout whats ur CONSCIOUS says...not what ur DESIRE screams...

DEVIANCE...(adapt to some errors)

We all remember ourselves to be good citizens in our primary ages. Striving for the good and sucking up while were at it. The bad was'nt really an option, we just could'nt accept a evil part in ourselves.
But indeed there is always a first time. the first robbery, the first lie, the first kiss, the first cheat. Deviance, mates is a great part within us. It is in every entity in this world. Somewhere, hidden deep within us is there is the urge to deviate from the right path. The path that promises us paradise. There is a voice within us that relates to these very temptations "AREY JUB HOGA DEKHA JAE GA, WOH BAAD KI BAAT HAI, TU TO YAAR PAPU HI RAHE GA, ZINDAGI CHOTI HAI DOST...". We then make the move...

UB SOOCH KYA RAHA HAI? JUB BOLA THA NAE KARNA, TUB TO TERE GA*D MEIN KEERAY PARH RAHE THAY, UB PUKHATLE!

What has happened?
What have i done wrong?
I just let my curiosity lead my inner voice....
I never knew id be labeled and stereo typed through out my life as such an individual....

That my friend is the beginning of leadership. There is a leader in every segment of life. A leader for good and a leader for bad, a leader of leaders and a leader of followers. There's even a leader of losers. Were all followers of a leader, if not the leader himself we are indeed accounted for our own deviance. Sanctioned positively or negatively for every thing we do.

It's like living in a glass house, with a board of judges, forming opinions on every act of yours. Even if retreat, they judge you on where you look, how many times u breathe before u look again. It is all part of not fitting in the society. The MISFIT, or as we term them as the LONESOME.

They live alone, and trust none but their own words. Life has no meaning, it can be seen as moments of the beating heartbeat. They understand the ride they're taken for, and that money is the root cause of all the attention. The words that are cliched in their minds have no purpose, the meanings are lost and the values are broken, Norms re written, cultures are lost.

The lost cultures lead us all to a new generation, we are now the leaders of our own time. But if every generation has its own leader...who are the few memorable ancestors. There is Chaos, no one has the capacity to stop and think about the others. The Rat race has begun.

Yet again, we loose. What more is there to loose?
A lost culture- where there are consensus for a value and norm is insignificant.
A lost love- where words have lost value and it is all a game of weakening ones self.
A lost generation- life shall lead on in chaos and panic, homes are destroyed for ever...

A place where everyone can survive but no one can live.
A daughter is born without her purity and virginity.
A son is born with his first rape and brutality.
A father is brought to loose his family.
A mother is brought to loose her love.

No house is spared from the night full screams of fright.
No hospital is spared with butchers in place of doctors.
No office is left where there are slaves donating their blood for hopeless mercy.
No court is left where money is the judge of law.

WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF DEVIANCE. The very world we all live in and strive hard to adapt to. We follow our strength and hide our weaknesses, rather than follow our weakness and hide the strength. We can never rest a peaceful night. Welcome to the nights of paranoia. Meet your self as a Schizophrenia.

And that day you close your eyes for ever, the question shall echo in ur grave...
"what are you here to offer?"
"What have done for ME in your sorry life line?"
"Do u believe in Fate and God above?"

Hence, i welcome you to this world of DEVIANCE...
the day you leave...is the day you will never open your eyes again.

inside buisness of a lover's crime...

Hey all, salam, greetings and aloha to all u readers. Im undergoing a lil problem withing myself so this is just a result of such...

Deep inside, where the sun wasnt allowed to shine. Where the trueness of the heart lies. There is nothing that can prove, that this heart can love anymore.

It shifts attention like the beams refecting of a disco ball, I say, u can love only one person truly, but the hard truth remains, we can love many, but show our loyalty to just one.

It hurts, to see her in hope standing there next to another heartache. But what right do i have, im one of them. The more i try to protect, the more i hurt, it's irony i find myself walking through that road of loneliness, and depression again.

There isnt a way i can show her my genuinity of love, it cant be expressed as its a mere expression of emotions. There's no way i can win over this situation, things have gone too far, and she pushing me away.

I never wish to leave. I never wish to walk away, nor did i wish to tastte the love of u for the sake of fun. Im truly in love, but it's this heart of mine i need to control before my own love hurts.

There is little but to do for me, i cant bid fairwell, ill have u in the memories of my smiles. I tried my best to keep things going, but im sorry it wasnt enough.

The only thing i wish u take away from me, is lessons and experience of how to deal with this world. I wish u all a happy life, the bitterness i live with may subside, but will never die.

I wish to live within u forever, a little voice that talks when needed, the comfort when ur curious and anxious in life. I tried my best to stay forever, but if i can't i try to leave u with a token of myself.

My love as a lover was'nt fake, nor was it a game. I've loved with what all my heart has to offer, its the awakening of this society within that pulls us poles apart.

I sit here, with sheets wet with salty tears, i hide them as were not allowed to cry, i bless u with lovers that would be as genuine as i wish to be, and i soak myself from the bitterness of failure, solitare and depression. the warmth withing my eyes is turning cold, i feel.

This is the inside buisness of a lover's crime.

The moulds, life shapes into...

It's rather odd, i say looking at your face in the wall. How i looked at u and envied how life stays more or less the same for u. It stays at a constant road for u, and u look forward to it more than i would.

You move ur jet black hair back, the same time as i do ur job as my silhouette well. Interestingly u have lesser dandruff than I do, the brushed outline of ur beard looks neater than mine.

Everything about u seams to be a better placement than mine, perhaps that's why they say there's good in everyone. Ur apparently the better side of me, though u stay only for lesser time of the sunshine. Its only in the night time I have to find light to see ur dark face. It stares back in a blank expression.

I wanna apologize, for not looking for u when in joys, and remembering when my arms fold arnd myself and im lonesome. I look at u, and see myself in the loneliest posture.

I noticed less, and came to realize how life changed so much, but u remained my shape, the same colour and even the same dedication.

Life turned to a gray color, whether thats joyful or sad, it turned bright colours too, little time did it give me to grasp onto its frame. It moved shapes so quick i didnt have time to shimmy off to an open ledge and get sumwhere more stable. Its like a trap where u can only dodge the shapes being thrown at u.

So after a massive storm. I stand here grasping on what used to be the flag pole of my Boat. I see the wrecked planks out floating in the tides, my boots are soaked in water, jeans are tightening arnd my skin, and a cold chill drives up my back as i see another set of clouds give me a devious grin. It is this time, i look up to see a full moon before its hidden by morbid blindness. It gives me time to look down to see u hold on to the flagpole as i hold the same way, the wind blowing my clothes tattered pieces of my sleeves. I tear them off to cover my blisters and cuts, leaving a big piece for both my knuckles knowing they will be needed soon.

I look down and take a deep sigh of my last breathe as i reach down, crouching to touch u, and brace myself as this morbid blindness of my mortality approaches calmly. I know im outnumbered, thats why all i can do is hold on as life changes another shape to make me slip and fall into the darkness of my grave.

Human emotional Impulse vs. Human Rationality Share

Just wondering on how the brain/mind reacts when posed with an emotional pressure. I sense that it decides on what to do first and blinds every other plausible option out of its courses of action matrix. Perhaps a priority rules that follows its laws. I guess that is why decisions made based on emotional perception are generally irrational. The mere fact that after one has simmered down or shall I say, cooled down and reanalyzed the situation with the scenario, one comes up with amazing things that they should have said or done in the first place. Has a thinker, ever tried to implement this theory. I guess throughout the human evolution, the survivors are the ones that have been prey to impulse rather than the hesitant rationales that think and then act!
Perhaps, for the sake of argument take two characters, one Intelligent Human and the other the Impulsive Human both in primitive age.

Intelligent Human: There seems to be a movement in that bush!

Impulsive Human: Yup, quick! Run for shelter!

Intelligent Human (still standing there looking at the bush): Let us take this one step at a time! Now how big can a thing be to cause so much... Oh Lord, a lion!

Game over, Intelligent one gets eaten!

Impulsive Human (Peeping from the tree above): Should have run when I told u to!

So as you can see, the impulsive ones survived and hence following their emotional impulse. However, does the same apply to any scenario and situation of life? Now picture a rescue squad, distributing supplies of food and aid to the victims. Again whilst the intelligent waits for his turn, or believes there is plenty for all, the emotionally impulsive individual would have already taken the most he is able to without hesitation.
So now, my audience readers would be convinced if not half heartedly convinced that the impulsively emotional Individuals win the battle of “only the strong survive”. They are the takers of all, are they not?
Here’s a scenario I’d throw in as well, since the previous mentioned examples are hypothesis and just mere assumption. Remember the time an attractive candidate for the heart walked passed you? Remember the heart skipping beats, the modesty and denial of mere attraction? Well the intelligent one stays hesitant, and takes not a step as the pro’s and con’s of the consequences are being measured. The emotionally impulsive individual would follow in as prey and try manipulating to win over the mate. Well again seemingly the Emotionally Impulsive individual seems to win all over again.
It’s mere DECEPTION! The principle works on attaining all for the present and falling bait to the system made by these intelligent beings. Confused? Here’s a one liner to provoke you to think and re-question what we just believed to be true.

Scenario 1: It was the intelligent being that brought the Predator into the lime light. So as long as the other candidate is within the same paradigm and region, he develops a phobia of bushes, and areas that aren’t bare. The candidate no longer has curiosity as fear overpowers behavior.

Scenario 2: The Emotionally Impulsive individual does the hunting, and later on from what he brought but couldn’t eat, was this intelligent being’s to scavenge on. The result... Little work with manipulation of the mind, to deceive and work with the situation to ones advantage.

Scenario 3: The female/male mate was one by the emotionally impulsive individual. Yet the hesitant, pays the cost of not winning in time, however as impulsive is not rational. It’s only a matter of time, when another mate is looked over by this Emotional Individual and the mate is lost. The intelligent one has an emotionally vulnerable individual, waiting at their disposal to comfort and win over. The situation again win’s the intelligent one over.
Thus, deception to give in this world as material value is just a mere bait to achieve the real objective. The question still lies, depending on the perception of one’s own objective. What means do they play, to achieve these goals? Emotional Impulse or Intelligence Rationality. There isn’t an entity in this human species, that lacks emotions, thus we all have emotional outbursts, or impulsion as a more specific term.
So where are we all going with this, I hear you ask?
Well it’s a mere perception of my mind of what reality, illusion and perception play to please our mind in achieving something the heart desires. We make decisions based on these principles, yet we deny our own rationale. The same reason we make mistakes that we swore not to make again previously. The same reason why children learn fire is dangerous by burning a finger, yet adults strongly advise them to keep away. The same reason each generation of human race, makes the same mistakes generation per generation. It is why I would work a 12 hours shift to support my beloveds, and why a thug would steal to afford his. The same reason, but difference of perception that leads to difference of opinion and beliefs.

Do comment and throw in some new views :D